lifestyle

Bini traditional wedding

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Behind closed doors
You ever been to a traditional wedding? No not the second part that everyone attends and involves a lot of dancing, yes we’ve been there. I’m talking about the one that happens before that, behind closed doors open to only the elite squad (few family members only) where the real joining of the two families occur. I’ve been privileged to attend two of those, one was last year and the other last month where I decided to document for blog post purposes.
 
Clearing up a little issue that I’ve encountered a few times, Benin is the place and Bini is the tribe. Also, Edo people consist of different tribes (Bini, Esan etc). So meaning someone is from Edo doesn’t necessarily mean they are Bini… hope that makes some sense.
P.S: This post is picture packed, but you wouldn’t want to miss anything now would you?
So welcome to the elite squad in a Bini traditional wedding/ marriage.

Before the day, the brides family gives the marriage list ( things required ) to the grooms family, the list can be outrageous and both families usually bargain till an agreement is reached. Sadly i can’t find the list for this one again but it wasn’t so long.
P.S: The list varies family to family.

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The ceremony mainly involves the elders from both families.
Bini. bini marriage, bini traditional marriage, Edo marriage, Edo attire, edo traditional rites, Benin marriage, Bini bride, Bini bridal attire, Bini tradition, Bini wedding, Bini coupleThe grooms family at one end, that’s my grand papa in blue.

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 The brides family

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Kolanut is an essential marriage element in the Bini land, I can’t speak for other tribes.
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The grooms family present the kolanut to the bride’s

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A little prayer is said (in Bini of course) during the breaking of the kolanut. The kolanut is blessed by the oldest elder in the bride’s family
Bini. bini marriage, bini traditional marriage, Edo marriage, Edo attire, edo traditional rites, Benin marriage, Bini bride, Bini bridal attire, Bini tradition, Bini wedding, Bini couple, kola nut

The Kolanut is then passed around with respect in mind. You can’t serve me first when we have elders in the house.

The entire event is done in Bini language, only few moments you would hear English being exchanged. It’s a traditional ceremony after all.

 Time to take a sip
The grooms family sharing their intentions, I’m sure you’ve heard that “my son  saw a beautiful flower in your garden and we’ve come to pluck it speech”

Bini Groom wearing his traditional attire on his wedding day

Groom is brought in wearing a Bini attire
 There’s a custom known as cutting the wood, where the brides family
present a line of other girls asking if she’s the one. Cutting the wood?
well yes, you a have to cut the wood blocking the way preventing the
actual bride from coming out. In this case, it was fueling the car.
How do you cut the wood or fuel the car? well with money of course, as the women dance and sing out with the girls they pause at certain points where you have to drop some money for them to move again. They do need money for the fuel after all.
 Edo bride on her traditional wedding day

Fueling the car again lol

Edo Bini bride on her traditional wedding day

Yes it’s a lot of beads
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The groom kneels before his in-laws with his father behind him. His father behind him signifying he’s the one presenting him to them

Bini traditional wedding ceremony rites

Bini traditional wedding customary rites

Settling the women, they were presented with money and kolanut. Can’t recall how much was picked out by the elder but most of it was returned back.

Before the bride can be given to the man, some groups have to be settled with gift offerings, this occurs in a different room. The grooms family have discussions with the groups.
The bride price? well that varies i’ve heard it’s 25 naira, I’ve heard lower but it depends on the family. In any case money is offered, and the family picks what they want and return the rest if they like or they can keep it all, after all you are getting a wife lol.
In this case, it was 115/125 naira (cant remember which exactly lol).
 
The groom unveils the bride
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The bride is lifted and placed on his father’s lap seven times by the elder from the bride’s side

The groom’s father places the bride on his lap. Now they are man and wife.

The couple presented to the bride’s family where they receive prayers and words of advice

The elite squad meeting is over fam lol, the couple dance for the first time outside as husband and wife and the party begins.

Cake design for Bini traditional wedding ceremonyThe couple is ushered outside where they are received by family and well wishers. After a few pictures, the couple change outfits (definitely needed, I’m sure those beads weigh a ton).

The lovely wedding cake baked my aunt.

 Bini couple cutting the cake on their traditional wedding day

Couple cutting the cake
Then it goes by with the norm; dancing, eating, and pictures.

I hope I’ve been able to shed some light on what goes on in a Bini traditional marriage. 
Have you ever attended the “closed doors” of any traditional marriage?
Do share your thoughts.

Congrats to the couple; Enoma & Tessy

May their union be blessed.
Lots of love,
Sogie.

16 Comments

  1. Patience Ogieriakhi

    September 10, 2016 at 8:51 am

    Hmmm, nice one.I didn't even know they went settle youth and women

    1. Iyesogie Ogieriakhi

      September 12, 2016 at 4:58 pm

      You were busy chatting now lol

  2. Toluwalade Toyin-Kehinde

    September 10, 2016 at 9:35 am

    Picture packed indeed… I really can't remember if I've even been to one of these.. I was always in school when any family member was getting married and only got excused for the white wedding tsk. This was fun to read.

    http://www.toyinwithfashion.com

    1. Iyesogie Ogieriakhi

      September 12, 2016 at 5:00 pm

      I warned you lol. I'm glad it was dear

  3. Collins Badewa

    September 10, 2016 at 10:08 am

    I've never been to a traditional wedding except the yoruba one. My best part is usually when the husband and his friends are called to prostrate. It's Usually Funny Especially When I Know I'll Do It One Day.

    Thestreethaute.wordpress.com

    1. Iyesogie Ogieriakhi

      September 12, 2016 at 5:03 pm

      Ooh I hear yoruba weddings are so fun and colourful. I've seen few pictures and I would definitely love to attend one.

  4. Oseni Folakemi

    September 10, 2016 at 10:25 am

    I've never been to any traditional wedding, seems really nice.

    https://thoughtsoffola.wordpress.com

    1. Iyesogie Ogieriakhi

      September 12, 2016 at 5:05 pm

      It's quite fun.

    2. Iyesogie Ogieriakhi

      September 12, 2016 at 5:05 pm

      It's quite fun.

  5. Stephylately

    September 12, 2016 at 6:30 am

    Wedding season. I love how colourful the occasion was.Beautiful culture. I always thought Benin is a country. Correct me if I am wrong. Lovely read.x

    http://www.stephylately.com

    1. Iyesogie Ogieriakhi

      September 12, 2016 at 5:08 pm

      Thanks dear , no you are not wrong Benin /Republic of Benin is a country but the one I'm this post is a city in Nigeria. Same name different places.

  6. Kachee Tee

    September 12, 2016 at 10:35 am

    Reminds me of my Igbo traditional wedding. I should really get around to blogging about it. And good of you to clarify the Benin and Bini difference. My friends are Bini so I've known the difference for a while!

    http://www.KacheeTee.com || Follow me on Bloglovin'!
    6 Questions on our Igbo Yoruba Inter-Ethnic Marriage

    1. Iyesogie Ogieriakhi

      September 12, 2016 at 5:07 pm

      I had to, a other of people confuse it lol. I've never been to an igbo wedding and would love to attend. Definitely blog about it would love to read it

  7. Phumie Alabs

    September 13, 2016 at 10:09 am

    That's so beautiful. I'm sure a good number of Nigerian tribes follow similar traditions. I've been part of 'fueling the tank' process before. It was rather a funny process.

    Great post!

    Funmi x
    funmialabi.co.uk

  8. Evita O. Enwefah

    September 13, 2016 at 12:38 pm

    Very colourful. And I must say you're well acquainted with your culture and tradition which is very commendable. That fueling of the car process is similar to my tradition as well o. So funny but it's one of my favourite parts of the ceremony.lol! I enjoyed reading this.

    evitainprogress.blogspot.com

  9. Yanes Hope

    September 13, 2016 at 5:32 pm

    Oh how I wish to attend a weeding like this look so nice love the colors of the groom and the bride clothes and that cake though looks yummy xoxo

    Yanikeur.blogspot.com

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